Nobody's Perfect, But I'm Close
by Archaeosine
Summary: DemiDevimon ponders his rivalry with Gatomon. A short oneshot told from DemiDevimon's POV.


Since this fanfic is told from DemiDevimon's perspective, writing in a slang-heavy style seemed to be appropriate. The story is set in Myotismon's castle during the Myotismon Arc of Adventure 01, and is rated T for language.

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I swear, if I hafta put up with Myotismon's yakking one more time, I'm gonna delete myself! That guy never stops going on about his plans to take over both the Digital World **and** Earth. Jeez, talk about your megalomaniac! There's a fine line between being ambitious and digging yourself into a ditch you can't get out of, and let's just say that Myotismon's vision ain't exactly 20/20. As much as I'd like to let him know what I really think of his plans, he doesn't exactly take criticism well; me and a few of my pals once ended up on the receiving end of a Crimson Lightning attack when he overheard us kvetching about him. 

In case you're wondering, I'm DemiDevimon, evil henchman extraordinaire. I ain't normally the bragging type, but I'm something of a bigshot around here. I happen to be one of Myotismon's chief lieutenants, along with Gatomon. Gatomon…I tell ya, my health would probably be a hell of a lot better than it is now if I had never even met her. We don't exactly get along together, and she's always been Myotismon's favorite. I've done plenty of hard work for the boss as well, but that jackass doesn't seem to care about how much I've done for him.

Anyways, Myotismon had summoned Gatomon and me so he could brief us about his latest "brilliant" scheme. It was typical Myotismon blather; he did all the speaking, and nobody else got a word in. Sometimes I think the guy just likes to hear himself talk. Once he finally finished his spiel, he dismissed us from his office. As we left, I was feeling kinda pissed at Gatomon. Myotismon was giving her more power than myself in the invade-Earth campaign. As usual, he had chosen her over me. That got me pretty steamed, and I felt like giving that kitty cat a bit of grief.

"Hey toots," I said, "you'd better watch it. The attack on Earth ain't gonna be easy. I'd hate to see a pretty little thing like you screw up and face the boss' wrath."

"Cram it, you flying bowling ball," she replied coldly. "I'm perfectly capable of carrying out Myotismon's plans."

"All right, all right. You don't hafta be such a bitch about it." Oh boy. As soon as that word slipped out of my mouth, I knew I was in trouble.

"What did you just call me?" she asked, her right eye twitching.

"Uh…uh…uh…" I stammered. Sheesh, I was in for it this time!

Gatomon grabbed me and pressed up against a wall.

"Listen, bat boy: if you ever, ever, **ever** call me a bitch again," she stuck out one of her claws and pointed it at my face, "That ugly visage of yours is going to become even more repulsive."

With an angry hiss, she turned and walked away. "Psycho bitch," I muttered once she was out of earshot.

_That Gatomon is one crazy broad_, I thought to myself. _She ain't like anyone else I've met. You can't deny the fact that she knows how to stand up for herself. She's tough, all right. Not as tough as me, of course._

I grinned. Nothing like a bit of self-flattery.

_She may be tough, but that kitten's pretty dignified and classy in her own way. It ain't easy to find someone like her._

Jeez, am I actually digging on this chick? She is kinda cute, if you think about it. And something about that spitfire personality of hers…I can't believe I'm even having these damn thoughts! After feuding with her for so long, could I have feelings for Gatomon? If you had told me that there would be a day when I started getting all sentimental and romantic, I would've thought you were off your rocker. Looks like I'm the crazy one now.

I flew over to her room, thinking I should apologize to her for what I said. I thought that we might be able to sorta start getting along together. But right as I was about to knock on the door, I started getting the heebie-jeebies. The whole thing just felt so, I don't know…weird.

_Hell, we've fought so much…this would be too awkward,_ I thought, trying to convince myself that a less-hostile relationship between us wouldn't work out._ Besides, she ain't really my type, and I probably ain't hers either._

As much as I tried to stop thinking about it, that little nagging thought about what it would be like if Gatomon and me were together seemed to be lodged in my head. It's strange, isn't it? I've got this brilliant mind, yet I can't stop these dumb, schmaltzy feelings. You'd think I'd be able to handle something like this. I guess it just goes to show you that nobody's perfect, although I still happen to be pretty damn close to perfection.

I was pretty hungry and I figured that a bite to eat would take my mind off Gatomon, so I made my way to the mess hall. Working for Myotismon isn't what I'd call a dream job, but I gotta admit, that guy hires top-notch cooks. The food is always excellent, and full-time employees eat free! Almost makes Myotismon a tolerable boss. As I stuffed my face, I realized how stupid that Gatomon idea was. I'm a busy guy! I've got places to go and mayhem to commit; if I started devoting all my time to dames, I just wouldn't be myself. Besides, if I ever go soft, that kitty will probably just use the opportunity to usurp even more of my authority.

As far as I'm concerned, it's just a matter of time before Myotismon gets offed during one of his attacks. As soon as that vampire kicks the bucket, **I'm** taking over this operation. I imagine Gatomon would want the same position, but I'm afraid she lacks the cleverness and cunning of yours truly. I'm the one with the skills to be the next boss, and I ain't letting my guard down. If Gatomon thinks she's the future of this business, she's in for a big surprise.

-The End-


End file.
